A few days ago I had a personal celebration of the art of being totally and utterly lazy. I believe I should be given a prize, but since it would mean someone else will have to pick it up for me, because actually going there and picking it myself will no doubt disqualify me for the record I was trying to set, I will let it go... for now...
What was I saying? Oh, yes. I started writing this post because it occurred to me that, in this day and age, people are so connected and prone to multitasking that they most certainly forgot the century old art of laziness. Therefore, this will be a simple and step-by-step guide to how you, too, can manage to reach a new laziness record.
First, don't do anything remotely lucrative all day.
Usually staying in bed with a book or your laptop will do the trick, provided you don't work as a book reviewer and you don't, under any circumstances, submit any kind of work via email. Wasting time on facebook, twitter and so on is allowed - but with no interactions like comments and such, as well as watching movies or TV online.
DO NOT, with the risk of dying of malnutrition (which is impossible in a day, anyway), fix yourself something to eat. All you are allowed to do is call for a pizza and drinks.
If you must, sometime during the day you are allowed to put on jeans and a hoodie over (this is of vital importance) your pijamas and go downstairs to check the mailbox and buy chocolate from the vendor mobile unit parked right in front of your building. However, you should be aware that this means you: 1. exercised for the day, 2. kept up with real-life AND 3. had your vitamins (chocolate still considered a vitamin, right?).
Try it. Let me know how it goes. Be willing to share the chocolate with me :)
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